Nicholas-Deary,
So awesome and exciting,
Does not matter what he makes you know you'll like it,
Make sure you put him in you favorites list,
Or he will hunt you down,
Nicholas-Deary is the best person on NEWGROUNDS!!!!!.
(no offense tom fulp)
I am a cartoon robot thing
Nicholas Deary
@M4KBOT
Age 33, Male
Newcastle, England
Joined on 5/12/06
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No, because I have self-respect
I still can't put that fire out from toes when the angry zombie infant monsters from the damned attacked and plucked everybody's eyebrows clean of dust mites and battery acid from the left over peanut butter and jelly pizza cake crab sandwiches the Sergeant made us for dessert on the Thursday dawn... of the dead.... caterpillars with cat legs covered in a strange lubricant unrecommended for sexual activities.
Well, I'll just say Boxxy.
Also, inb4 a winrar are you.
You know what I can't think of anything.
Several college-dropout zebras left the continental US seeking revenge... revenge against the ZebraManDonkey, who's name is not part of any known dictionary. The zebra bad asses entered the Vietnam jungle, equipped with semi-auto RPGs. A rabbit with Napoleon complex jumped out of the bushes screaming "ILL FUCKING-". He was hit simultaneously with 2,411,124,521 rockets, greater than the explosive power of a nuke. This explosion even interrupted Chuck Norris's Total body workout for nanoseconds, he blamed Sirtom93 and abolished him from the earth. The zebras then entered the gaping hole they created and arrived at ZebraManDonkey's lair. They realized their RPGs were empty; so they swallowed them for nutrition. The zebras equipped their athletic headbands and headbutted the door open. They got sight of ZebraManDonkey getting his e-cock to maximum size by getting every NG medal. Embarrassed, ZebraManDonkey attempted to hack the NG servers and delete his profile. The zebras regurgitated their RPGs, propelling them at the speed of light straight at him. This caused ZebraManDonkey to enter hyperspeed. ZebraManDonkey's extreme e-cock was the only remain. 2 years later the zebras patented the fact that zebras are black with white strips. They get five dollars every time someone says otherwise.
I do say! I believe that there is a squid with the color of charcoal swimming around in my $100 pantaloons.
big black butts.
Nicholas-Deary
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Nicholas-Deary
Age/Gender: 17, Male
Location: Newcastle, England
Job: Graphic Designer
If you need art/animation for your site, send me a PM and I will get back to you.
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AIM: Tyranicized
Website: MorrowDeary Productions
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Entry #35
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Nicholas-Deary
WIN A CRAZY PRIZE!
Posted by Nicholas-Deary May. 7, 2009 @ 6:04 PM EDT
Post some random comment here and I'll pick the best one. The winner will receive a mysterious prize, go go go! :D
Updated: 05/07/09 6:08 PM Don't comment | Share this!
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The People Have Spoken
92 Comments
May. 7, 2009 | 6:05 PM Rhete says:
First
May. 7, 2009 | 6:07 PM tahm10 says:
the gold fish digs the tank so steals the potato because it is shiny
May. 7, 2009 | 6:07 PM hiii111 says:
You've been trolled and lolled at for 5 hours, click here to claim the prize.
?
May. 7, 2009 | 6:07 PM max15946 says:
RAY!!! LICK WIE WND WILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAGGDIJHD!!! CANDY!!!!!!!!!!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:07 PM the-dz says:
some random comment here and I'll pick the best one. The winner will receive a mysterious prize, go go go! :D
May. 7, 2009 | 6:09 PM Nicholas-Deary responds:
you're a smart one!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:08 PM Brundaty says:
It's not the glamor. It's not the money. It's not the bragging rights. It's not the skill to get all of those things... It's you Nicholas. YOU. IT'S ALL YOU.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:10 PM Ultimato says:
DO YA LIKE WAFFLES? Well I fucking don't so SQUADALA to you mister.
-Ultimato
May. 7, 2009 | 6:11 PM max15946 says:
(Insert Really Random Comment Here)
May. 7, 2009 | 6:13 PM max15946 says:
THIS IS MADNESS!!!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:16 PM butters757 says:
The below sentence is a lie
The above sentence is true
May. 7, 2009 | 6:18 PM flashwarrior says:
A fish is only a crazy prize if your comment is bad and man oh man dr. phil lock up your daughters tonight. bitch.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:18 PM El-Presidente says:
If you don't give me this prize, I'll chainsaw rape your ass to shreds and jizz on them.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:18 PM shmub says:
i did a half face of sean connery in art class and now im making buildings with pipes and power lines.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:19 PM Nicholas-Deary responds:
this is winning so far.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:18 PM ziaxe says:
OMG YOU HAD A BABY?!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:19 PM RandomExploit says:
MY VEGAS HAS EXPLODED INTO EXCEPTIONS
May. 7, 2009 | 6:19 PM fluffkomix says:
well obviously since i am the almighty fluffkomix ruler of the rubber duckies with over 1,000 posts in the BBS and many contributions to the flash and audio portal will win this extravagant prize of mysterious unknowings.
or will i?
May. 7, 2009 | 6:19 PM 1sauber1 says:
I have been anally fucked in the ass 42 times (42 is the meaning of life)
May. 7, 2009 | 6:21 PM st1k says:
I am the tea general! my blood is made of electric rubber pants!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:24 PM Nicholas-Deary responds:
not bad at all!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:22 PM 14hourlunchbreak says:
This is what happens Larry! This is what happens when you fight a stranger in the ask jeeves!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:22 PM st1k says:
Go shave you teeth!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:22 PM DND-Productions says:
I had a rather lackadaisical day yesterday. It included many crumpets and various sizes of scones.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:24 PM Nicholas-Deary responds:
I like the plot line on this one.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:23 PM Luis says:
i already know what it is but yea ok win time.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:25 PM Nicholas-Deary responds:
You call that a comment?! >:(
May. 7, 2009 | 6:25 PM max15946 says:
I'll give you me pants for a grilled cheese!!!! just not the underwear!!! ok ok the underwear!!!!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:26 PM Father-of-Death says:
I am gay
May. 7, 2009 | 6:27 PM Chuck Norris says:
gay dinasour called mega sore ass
shotgun wedding can result in happiness or death
a good woman can do 70 chores around the house cooking and 69
this was just for lolz
May. 7, 2009 | 6:28 PM frnkdu says:
Doodh ka doodh, paani ka paani
'Perhaps, George W Bush and his neocons are the best thing to happen to Islam -- adversity just may give rise to rectification...'
LALALALALALALALALALALALA
idontwhythatthefactoftheematterofwhyi seventhereasonofwhyisthewhy
Flying from London to New York by Concord, due to the time zones crossed, you can arrive 2 hours before you leave.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:28 PM ilikeblamingcrap says:
pie? ZOMG GEUSSE WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!??!11/!?!?!!??!1?1!?!!
??1!?!?1?1!?!?!?1!?!?1?1!/!/1/1/11? i forgot sorry. wait you live in newcastle? i love the accent that people have there! lucky you!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:30 PM Hades says:
General McFoodration sent the cookies my way, despite the onion's obvious joy. Oogley.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:30 PM Goodthief says:
Rough gay Wolf sex
May. 7, 2009 | 6:31 PM Chaz-o says:
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
May. 7, 2009 | 6:31 PM EteJuano says:
Don't make me cry, apple pie
Make me smile, daddly-doo
May. 7, 2009 | 6:31 PM max15946 says:
ok listen i have been in my basement smoking crack for three days!!! i had eat my own fesses to live!!! and i come out and come here and you tell me this!!!! huh?! well guess what?! i like it!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:33 PM Shaqske says:
WTF? is kmndanslfnascmx cla sl asldalnfand GIVE ME MAH PRIZE BLARGH!!!!
SPartana JUST GIVE MEH MAH FUCKIN PRIZE >: )
May. 7, 2009 | 6:33 PM javierm885778 says:
!yag era uoy siht dear nac uoy fI
May. 7, 2009 | 6:33 PM I-smel says:
I WIN BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING BEST BETTER THAN ALL THE REST BETTER THAN ANYONE ANYONE IVE EVER MET EVEN VIN DIESEL. I WOULD FUCKING BATTER VIN DIESEL IN A FIST FIGHT. ID FUCKIN FAKE LEFT, YEAH? GIVE HIM SOME MOTHERFUCKIN CANSAS CITY SHUFFLE ALL UP IN DAT HO, THEN ID BE ALL W'BANG!!! SUCK ON THAT DIESEL YOU FUCKING PONCE.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:36 PM Nicholas-Deary responds:
Well, I'll give you credit for using the caps lock button.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:37 PM valval26 says:
The dog was in the house when he saw a flying human who wanted to do sex with the dog
May. 7, 2009 | 6:37 PM Otto007 says:
Jump to Entry: [1...14...27...28...29...30...31...32 ...33...34...35] Newer Older
WIN A CRAZY PRIZE!
Posted by Nicholas-deary
May. 7, 2009 @ 6:04 PM EDT
.....................................
.....................................
.....................................
....
Post some random comment here and I'll pick the best one. The winner will receive a mysterious prize, go go go! :D
:D Don't comment | Share this! Updated: 05/07/09 6:08 PM
LEAVE A COMMENT! Leave It!
Leave your thoughts about: WIN A CRAZY PRIZE!
Characters remaining: 7,562 N HTML, please.
May. 7, 2009 | 6:38 PM Otto007 says:
crap. let me add somthing to that...
May. 7, 2009 | 6:38 PM K0Nx says:
Wait a second...
Nicholas...
your a guy?
May. 7, 2009 | 6:41 PM Nicholas-Deary responds:
yeah
May. 7, 2009 | 6:38 PM lir10005 says:
Do you think that could finish me?! I am the saiyan prince! VEGETA!!!!
May. 7, 2009 | 6:39 PM hiii111 says:
You tell people they can get a prize, and what do you get? a shitload of rewiews.
my sir i am surprised
May. 7, 2009 | 6:39 PM max15946 says:
wait females cows make milk not male in fact there is no such thing as male cow there
Cheese fries and barebackin' make pink pandas giggle like sunshine.
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Nicholas. He was a sly fellow and he had good taste in pixel-art. He loved to dance and sing ontop of rooftops. One night on a rooftop, he met a beautiful girl named Bernadette. He fell in love instantly, and forgot about his pixel art and all of Newgrounds.
Rumor has it, if you go ontop of the roottop on May 7th at exactly 6:04pm Eastern Time, that you'd still be able to hear him and Bernadette dancing the night away... It's only a myth... but is it real.... or not?
Here we meet Bella Swan. And - this is telling - the first thing we learn about her is her CLOTHING PREFERENCES. (Well, we meet the unnamed first-person narrator, who is either a girl or flamingly gay ("I was wearing my favorite shirt - sleeveless, white eyelet lace;" "My carry-on item was a parka." Hah! This whole book would probably entertain me even more if it was about a guy who was inexplicably drawn to Edward. Now that I've thought it, there's probably already fanfic out there where Bella is Billy, instead. Um, I've let this train of thought go on long enough...)
She totally hates gloomy cloudy rain. So she's moving to Washington! It's a self-sacrificing gesture of the utmost unselfishness, you see. Yeah, that's why you can't shut up about how selfless you are. WHATEVER.
The "vigorous, sprawling city"? Um, vigorous? Um.
So, apparently Bella takes care of her "childlike" mother, and doesn't know how her mom will survive without her. Yeesh! I doubt it, because how can someone who can't even walk take care of anyone? Plus how did her mom survive all those summers when Bella was staying with her dad Charlie?
What's her mom's name? We don't know.
So we learn how you get from Phoenix to Forks, and it involves an hour drive which Bella is dreading because apparently she's not "verbose" and she's worried about awkwardness with Charlie.
They meet, awkward hug - ah, her mom's name is Renée - and get to driving.
Her dad bought her a CAR.
And she's all "errr what kind of car" and I'm all "YOUR DAD BOUGHT YOU A CAR. SHUT THE HELL UP."
Oh, okay, once she realizes she doesn't have to pay for it, she gets more grateful. That's all I ask, Bella!
Oh boy, she likes the hunk of truck her dad bought her, "to my intense surprise." Mine too, Bella. Mine too.
"It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to st are dejectedly out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape." Aw, she's such a MARTYR, moving to live with her apparently loving father. Squeeze out a few tears for yourself, Bella.
Bella laments her freak appearance - ivory-skinned, slender "but soft somehow" - oh yeah, you're a total freak. I don't know how you manage to walk down the street without people screaming and running in the opposite direction.
After a sleepless night and a quiet breakfast, Bella heads off to school!
Wait, I need to comment on this sentence: "Charlie left first, off to the police station that was his wife and family." What the HELL? This sentence would get torn apart in a high school writing class critique.
Bella has something against a pretty, sprawling campus that doesn't incorporate metal detectors (seriously?).
She also has something against NATURE ("Plants grew everywhere in large plastic pots, as if there wasn't enough greenery outside.").
Nervous about her first day at school: "I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me." BWA HAHAHA.
Bella breathes a sigh of relief when she realizes everyone here is a pale, pale caucasian, like her. Whew!
Also she apparently has already learned and read everything ever. Are schools so much better in Arizona than in Washington?
And yes, Bella, having your mom send you your folder of old essays IS cheating. Unless you're just going to use them to augment your research when writing the NEW ones. You cheating cheater.
Oh, then a nice friendly fellow with the unfortunate affliction of being a teenage boy (gangly, skin problems) is chalked up to "chess club type" when he tries to talk to Bella. Pfft.
Okay, I mean, even if she has a point, JUDGMENTAL MUCH?
Bella meets some girls at lunch but forgets all their names (okay, I'm guilty of this as well. Names are hard!).
It is during lunch that she spots "them." And I think we ALL know who she means.
She describes them all in physical details. I care so little about this. Except for one: the short girl ("pixielike, thin in the extreme, with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction") sounds like my friend Philosophy, if Philosophy cut her hair short and dyed it black. I don't know if this is a character I'll like or dislike yet, so I hope I didn't just say something horrible.
Oh and guess what? They're all "chalky pale" - even paler than Bella (gasp)! Also it looks like they all got punched in the nose?
But why is she staring at them? Not because they aren't eating or talking or looking at her. Not because they're all skinny and pale. It's because they all look like airbrushed fashion models with the face of an angel (collectively?). Oh Em Gee.
They are like super-fast runway models. Uh huh.
Bella asks who these pale speedy models are. The girl she's having lunch with tells her they're Edward, Emmett and Alice Cullen (Alice is the short pixielike one), and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. Uhhh names. I'm like Bella in that I'm bad at them. And we only know who one of these names belongs to at this point, right? Hm.
She narrates about the name Jessica, and I'm not entirely clear what her point is.
And all the pale beautiful models live together (in sin? I think it's implied). Gasp!
But they're all foster kids. Foster kids who are all bangin' their foster siblings? Er... okay.
The guy she keeps paying attention to is - are you ready for this? I'm sure it's going to come as a big shock - Edward. He keeps looking over while they're talking about him and his family. Gee, I wonder what that's all about!
Edward looks frustrated the last time he looks at her during lunch.
Then, Bio class. Guess who is the only one without a lab partner, who then Bella is paired with by default?
A certain perfect-lipped boy who keeps giving Bella weird looks? May just be!
And now he's not just curious or frustrated, he is PISSED. It's the weirdest thing ever and I don't think something I'd respond to the way she does. Her first thought? OMG, do I smell bad?!
The answer is, of course, no. She smells like strawberries.
And once more Bella knows whatever everyone is learning already. Oh, you know everything there is to know about cellular anatomy, huh Bella? What the hell?
Edward is rigid and holding his hand in a fist the whole class period. He looks at her with "his black eyes full of revulsion," which is WTF CREEPY but still does not excuse the fact the she used the phrase "He didn't know me from Eve." I'm sorry, but I don't want to read this sentence in the narrative of a published book. No.
Edward hightails it out of there as soon as the class ends, presumably because he inexplicably hates Bella so damn much.
Bella's reaction is "He was so mean. It wasn't fair."
Because this is the second grade?
Fortunately, some baby-faced aryan boy named Mike interrupts her whiny reverie. They walk to gym class, and bond over the fact that they're like the only 2 people in Washington who have ever seen sunlight (Mike is from California originally - there is NO SUN EVER in Washington, clearly).
Just when Bella thinks Mike is nice, he asks her if she stabbed Edward with a pencil (Haha! What if she had?). On account of he was looking at her so funny. Bella gets embarrassed.
The gym teacher's name Coach Clapp. I'm not even joking. He (?) goes through the trouble of finding a gym uniform for Bella, but then doesn't make her change into it. What? Why would he look for the uniform in the first place? SHEESH.
Bella feels nauseated watching people play volleyball. We are reminded that she is physically incompetent. Forks is her "personal hell on Earth" because P.E. is mandatory all four years of high school. Cry me a river.
Gym is the last class of the day, I guess, because next Bella has to go to the office to return her paperwork.
Who should be in the office but Hatey McBrooderson! I mean, Angel. No wait, I mean Edward! He's trying to get transfered to a different section of Biology - any other section!
Then someone else comes into the office and this somehow tips him off that Bella is standing directly behind him. He glares at her, and she narrates, "his face was absurdly handsome - with piercing, hate-filled eyes." Mmm, just how I like 'em, fear-inducing and filled with ha
Why do I need to use a condom?
Condoms are the only form of protection that can both help to stop the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HIV and prevent pregnancy.
Getting ready, choosing the right condom
condoms
A number of different types of condom are now available. What is generally called a condom is the 'male' condom, a sheath or covering which fits over a man's penis, and which is closed at one end.
There is also now a female condom, or vaginal sheath, which is used by a woman and which fits inside her vagina. The rest of this page is about the male condom.
What are condoms made of?
Condoms are usually made of latex or polyurethane. If possible you should use a latex condom, as they are slightly more reliable, and in most countries they are most readily available.
Latex condoms can only be used with water based lubricants, not oil based lubricants such as Vaseline or cold cream as they break down the latex. A small number of people have an allergic reaction to latex and can use polyurethane condoms instead.
Polyurethane condoms are made of a type of plastic. They are thinner than latex condoms, and so they increase sensitivity and are more agreeable in feel and appearance to some users. They are more expensive than latex condoms and slightly less flexible so more lubrication may be needed. However both oil and water based lubricants can be used with them.
It's not clear whether latex or polyurethane condoms are stronger - there are studies suggesting that either is less likely to break. With both types however, the likelihood of breakages is very small if used correctly.
The lubrication on condoms also varies. Some condoms are not lubricated at all, some are lubricated with a silicone substance, and some condoms have a water-based lubricant. The lubrication on condoms aims to make the condom easier to put on and more comfortable to use. It can also help prevent condom breakage.
Spermicides and Nonoxynol 9
Condoms and lubricants sometimes contain a spermicide called Nonoxynol 9. Adding Nonoxynol 9 to condoms was thought in the past to help to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and other STDs, but it is now known to be ineffective.
Some people have an allergic reaction to Nonoxynol 9 that can result in little sores, which can actually make the transmission of HIV more likely. Because of this, you should only use condoms and lubricants containing Nonoxynol 9 if you are HIV negative and know that your partner is too. However, using a condom (even if it contains Nonoxynol 9) is much safer than having unprotected sex.
What shapes are there and which should I choose? What about flavoured condoms?
condom
Condoms come in a variety of shapes. Most have a reservoir tip although some do have a plain tip. Condoms may be regular shaped (with straight sides), form fit (indented below the head of the penis), or they may be flared (wider over the head of the penis).
Ribbed condoms are textured with ribs or bumps, which can increase sensation for both partners. Condoms also come in a variety of colours.
It's up to you which shape you choose. All of the differences in shape are designed to suit different personal preferences and enhance pleasure. It is important to communicate with your partner to be sure that you are using condoms that satisfy both of you.
Some condoms are flavoured to make oral sex more enjoyable. They are also safe to use for penetrative sex as long as they have been tested and approved.
What about the condom size?
Condoms are made in different lengths and widths, and different manufacturers produce varying sizes.
There is no standard length for condoms, though those made from natural rubber will in addition always stretch if necessary to fit the length of the man's erect penis.
The width of a condom can also vary. Some condoms have a slightly smaller width to give a "closer" fit, whereas others will be slightly larger. Condom makers have realised that different lengths and widths are needed and are increasingly broadening their range of sizes.
The brand names will be different in each country, so you will need to do your own investigation of different names. There is no particular best brand of condom.
So when do you use a condom?
You need to use a new condom every time you have sexual intercourse. Never use the same condom twice. Put the condom on after the penis is erect and before any contact is made between the penis and any part of the partner's body. If you go from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse, you should consider changing the condom.
Where can I get condoms?
There are no age limitations on buying condoms. Buying a condom no matter how old you are shows that you are taking responsibility for your actions. Family planning and sexual health clinics provide condoms free of charge. Condoms are available to buy from supermarkets, convenience stores and petrol/gas stations. Vending machines selling condoms are found in toilets at many locations. You can also order then online from different manufacturers and distributors.
How can I check a condom is safe to use?
Condoms that have been properly tested and approved carry the British Standard Kite Mark or the EEC Standard Mark (CE). In the USA, condoms should be FDA approved, and elsewhere in the world, they should be ISO approved. To find out more about condom testing see our Condoms history, effectiveness and testing page.
Condoms have an expiration (Exp) or manufacture (MFG) date on the box or individual package that tells you when it is safe to use the condom until. It's important to check this when you use a condom. You should also make sure the package and the condom appear to be in good condition.
Condoms can deteriorate if not stored properly as they are affected by both heat and light. So it's best not to use a condom that has been stored in your back pocket, your wallet, or the glove compartment of your car. If a condom feels sticky or very dry you shouldn't use it as the packaging has probably been damaged.
How do you use a condom?
condoms
Open the condom package at one corner being careful not to tear the condom with your fingernails, your teeth, or through being too rough. Make sure the package and condom appear to be in good condition, and check that if there is an expiry date that the date has not passed.
Place the rolled condom over the tip of the hard penis, and if the condom does not have a reservoir top, pinch the tip of the condom enough to leave a half inch space for semen to collect. If the man is not circumcised, then pull back the foreskin before rolling on the condom.
Pinch the air out of the condom tip with one hand and unroll the condom over the penis with the other hand. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis, and smooth out any air bubbles. (Air bubbles can cause a condom to break.)
If you want to use some extra lubrication, put it on the outside of the condom. But always use a water-based lubricant (such as KY Jelly or Liquid Silk) with latex condoms, as an oil-based lubricant will cause the latex to break. Click here to see picture of lubricants.
The man wearing the condom doesn't always have to be the one putting it on - it can be quite a nice thing for his partner to do.
What do you do if the condom won't unroll?
The condom should unroll smoothly and easily from the rim on the outside. If you have to struggle or if it takes more than a few seconds, it probably means that you are trying to put the condom on upside down. To take off the condom, don't try to roll it back up. Hold it near the rim and slide it off. Then start again with a new condom.
When do you take off the condom?
Pull out before the penis softens, and hold the condom against the base of the penis while you pull out, so that the semen doesn't spill. Condom should be disposed properly for example wrapping it in a tissue and throwing it away. It's not good to flush condoms down the toilet - they're bad for the environment.
What do you do if a condom breaks?
If a condom breaks during sexual intercourse, then pull out quickly and replace the condom. Whilst you are having sex, check the condom
from time to time, to make sure it hasn't split or slipped off. If the condom has broken and you feel that semen has come out of the condom during sex, you should consider getting emergency contraception such as the morning after pill.
What condoms should you use for anal intercourse?
With anal intercourse more strain is placed on the condom. You can use stronger condoms (which are thicker) but standard condoms are just as effective as long as they are used correctly with plenty of lubricant. Condoms with a lubricant containing Nonoxynol 9 should NOT be used for anal sex as Nonoxynol 9 damages the lining of the rectum increasing the risk of HIV and other STD transmission.
Is using a condom effective?
unrolled condom
If used properly, a condom is very effective at reducing the risk of being infected with HIV during sexual intercourse. Using a condom also provides protection against other sexually transmitted diseases, and protection against pregnancy. In the laboratory, latex condoms are very effective at blocking transmission of HIV because the pores in latex condoms are too small to allow the virus to pass through. However, outside of the laboratory condoms are less effective because people do not always use condoms properly. To find out more about the effectiveness of condoms, go to our Condom history, effectiveness and testing page.
How do you dispose of a used condom?
All condoms should be disposed of by wrapping in tissue or toilet paper and throwing them in the bin. Condoms should not be flushed down the toilet as they may cause blockages in the sewage system and pollution.
Latex condoms are made mainly from latex with added stabilizers, preservatives and vulcanizing (hardening) agents. Latex is a natural substance made form rubber trees, but because of the added ingredients most latex condoms are not biodegradable. Polyurethane condoms are made from plastic and are not biodegradable. Biodegradable latex condoms are available from some manufacturers.
How can I persuade my partner that we should use a condom?
It can be difficult to talk about using condoms. But you shouldn't let embarrassment become a health risk. The person you are thinking about having sex with may not agree at first when you say that you want to use a condom when you have sex. These are some comments that might be made and some answers that you could try...
EXCUSE ANSWER
Don't you trust me? Trust isn't the point, people can have infections without realising it
It does not feel as good with a condom I'll feel more relaxed, If I am more relaxed, I can make it feel better for you.
I don't stay hard when I put on a condom I'll help you put it on, that will help you keep it hard.
I am afraid to ask him to use a condom. He'll think I don't trust him. If you can't ask him, you probably don't trust him.
I can't feel a thing when I wear a condom Maybe that way you'll last even longer and that will make up for it
I don't have a condom with me I do
It's up to him... it's his decision It's your health. It should be your decision too!
I'm on the pill, you don't need a condom I'd like to use it anyway. It will help to protect us from infections we may not realise we have.
It just isn't as sensitive and I can't feel a thing Maybe that way you will last even longer and that will make up for it
Putting it on interrupts everything Not if I help put it on
I guess you don't really love me I do, but I am not risking my future to prove it
I will pull out in time Women can get pregnant and get STDs from pre-ejaculate
But I love you Then you'll help us to protect ourselves.
Just this once Once is all it takes
There are many reasons to use condoms when having sex. You could go through these reasons with your partner and see what she/he thinks.
Reasons to use condoms
1. Condoms are the only contraceptive that help prevent both pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV) when used properly and consistently.
2. Condoms are one of the most reliable methods of birth control when use properly and consistently.
3. Condoms have none of the medical side-effects of some other birth control methods may have.
4. Condoms are available in various shapes, colours, flavours, textures and sizes - to increase the fun of making love with condoms.
5. Condoms are widely available in pharmacies, supermarkets and convenience stores. You don't need a prescription or have to visit a doctor.
6. Condoms make sex less messy.
7. Condoms are user friendly. With a little practice, they can also add confidence to the enjoyment of sex.
8. Condoms are only needed when you are having sex unlike some other contraceptives which require you to take or have them all of the time.
Here are also some tips that can help you to feel more confident and relaxed about using condoms.
Confidence tips
* Keep condoms handy at all times. If things start getting steamy - you'll be ready. It's not a good idea to find yourself having to rush out at the crucial moment to buy condoms - at the height of the passion you may not want to.
* When you buy condoms, don't get embarrassed. If anything, be proud. It shows that you are responsible and confident and when the time comes it will all be worthwhile. It can be more fun to go shopping for condoms with your partner or friend. Nowadays, it is also easy to buy condoms discreetly on the internet.
* Talk with your partner about using a condom before having sex. It removes anxiety and embarrassment. Knowing where you both stand before the passion stands will make you lot more confident that you both agree and are happy about using a condom.
* If you are new to condoms, the best way to learn how to use them is to practice putting them on by yourself or your partner. It does not take long to become a master.
* If you feel that condoms interrupt you passion then try introducing condoms into your lovemaking. It can be really sexy if your partner helps you put it on or you do it together.
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Moral: Kuenu is ALWAYS in the forest!
i saw a guy and a girl do it on the sidewalk today
I am the great Dingleberry Muncher.
Bow before my dried poop on a string.
Did you know Mother Teresa, In the later pieces of her life, had an affair with Michael Bolton? Bolton escaped sneakily through the front door,and is now living happily in the Internet. Later, when asked why he would leave an old nun, Bolton replied "When it comes to sex, she was definitely some kind of mother". He recently discovered Mother Teresa was only attracted to him because of his last name, and is considering changing it to either Hitler or Satan.
Some random comment.
Do I win because I have the fanciest tongue and the most atomically inaccurate smegma? Is that the way that the big hairy ni99a rolls? Is it?
I'm feeling a big one, sir.
JonBro
My hippopotamus has a flat tire.